There are some
days moments that I want to throw in
the towel and throw away my Mom hat. There are some moments that are just so ridiculous
and suck so much that I just don’t even want to be a part of them. I think about calling Kelly and just walking
the eff away. But then I remember that everything I love in my life would be
gone and that sucks ass even more.
I feel like I’m failing at life right now. I have all these balls in the air and I can’t seem to juggle them all the same way at the same time. Something always drops.
What frustrates things even more is when I get attitude. I guess I missed the parenting manual that says after all the crying and sleepless nights comes the serious attitude with a side of back talk but hey at least you are sleeping.
It feels like nothing I do with O anymore is ever correct. Nothing is what she wants to hear. On Wednesday she got off the bus and it was pouring rain. Because I was saying goodbye to one of the babies she walked into the house with her wet shoes on. After I said goodbye, I said hello to her and then asked her to take her shoes off because she was making the floor wet. She took off her shoes by the door and then said “Oh no I hope I don’t have to take them to the garage.” We keep our shoes in the garage because we no longer have a mud room. She knows this and does this same routine EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. When I reminded her that taking her shoes to the garage was her responsibility she took her shoes and started hitting them together while walking through the house saying “looks like I’m getting water everywhere!” Seriously!?!? WTF?!?! I couldn’t even respond. Why is there such a backlash in something she knows she has to do every day?
Was it the babies? Was it me? Was she having an off day? Whatever it was I hate it. It wasn’t just that moment- there are too many moments to share.
Then there are moments where G asks me to put fairy wings on her Barbie Doll. I already tried once and it is the last thing I want to try again, but I do it anyway. And that G she cheers me on and actually says “you can do it Lindsay.” I did eventually get the wings on and you know what it felt good- I actually did something right. Then she lost a Barbie shoe and the BS started all over again.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. I sure hope so because I feel like I have had my fare share of bad days lately. Thank God for the weekend! At least my husband will be around to share in the Miserere. On a positive note Kelly and I get to enjoy a date night tonight with two great friends. It should be a blast and it is something I have been looking forward to all week- that and Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding. Love it!