I was enjoying my eggs, toast, and sausage when Olivia started a conversation about a new friend her and Gracie have made. I knew about the girl and I was kind of half listening. If food is in front of me it has my full attention. She went on to explain that her and G were watching YouTube videos at her house the other evening. Okay, so now I'm fully listening. Want to know what they were watching?
Click here & here
Needless to say I am horrified.
This is not my worst nightmare, but it is up there.
As a parent you work so hard to protect your children from this shit. Then it is as easy as them going to other people's homes and there it is. BAM. In their face.
Because this incident did not happen under my watch and in my specific neighborhood my hands are tied. I am letting other's try to handle it.
Maybe this girls parents don't know?
Whatever the case Kelly and I have thoroughly lectured about NEVER getting on a computer with this girl again.
I feel there is not really more that we can do because I can't control what happens outside of my home. I mean I can forbid them to go there, but like I said it happens outside my parental areas. Just one of the many reasons why divorce sucks.
I cannot tell you how happy and proud I am of my girls for sharing this with Kelly and I. They knew it was so very wrong and they came to us. We commended them over and over for this. We always want them to know that they can tell us anything and they will never get in trouble for sharing information. We try our best to make this a true statement. We want them to always feel like they can come to us about anything- especially as the issues get larger.
I am scared of all the unknown- all the possibilities that I see in the news. I try to teach without scaring them and creating worry where there once was none.
G recently completed a five day safety city camp. She learned about "stranger danger," among many other safety things. I'm not overly concerned about strangers. I mean I am, but I'm not. My real concern? People we know that could hurt them. I am concerned about them getting touched inappropriately by other grown-ups they know and trust. I am concerned about them meeting someone over the internet. I am concerned about them getting "groomed" by an adult we know and they learn to trust them and are afraid to tell us when something bad happens. Those are my real at the moment concerns.
I can teach them right from wrong. I can give them tools. I can teach/tell them how to handle situations, but when they are outside of our home they are essentially out of my control. It is a scary world out there. It seems that more and more people today now feel comfortable sharing their stories about child molestation. It's heart breaking, it's scary, it's a reality. A reality they sure as shit didn't teach 6 year old G about at safety city.
I hope I do O&G some justice in this parenting thing. I hope they know they can come to us no matter what. I mean let's be honest- these little YouTube videos were nothing in the grand scheme of life. It is just something we don't allow in our home. We don't even watch Spongebob. It is something as their parent I have worked to protect them from. We don't allow them to even go on YouTube at 8 and 6 years of age.
I hope for their sake that this incident is isolated, I hope they continue to share with us, I hope over the years we continue to build trust so they can communicate, but most of all I hope to be able to provide them with a happy loving and safe childhood.
Have any of you dealt with these issues in your home? Is this on your radar? Is there something I am missing and need to teach?
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Also I am guest posting here today, I guess I have a lot of shit to get out.
Wow! I would have lost it! Those videos are awful! Something certainly needs to be said to this child's mother. I bet she would be just as horrified and grateful that she can nip that child's bad you tube habit in the butt. It resells is a scary world no matter how much parenting we do we've just got to trust in our children and continue to create that bond with them. From just reading your blog the past couple months I'd say you're doing a great job so far. Keep it up mama :)
ReplyDeleteCould you contact the mother, who's house they were at, and let her know that it is not acceptable for your children?
ReplyDeleteMy greatest fear is the safety of our children! I think it is great that you have a relationship with the girls that they can come to you. We can't control others but it is a great lesson for your girls to come to you with this!
ReplyDeleteit sounds like you're doing the right thing as a parent b/c your girls came ot you and told you about what they saw. you better believe you CAN call the parents and let them know what her daughter and your daughter were doing while they were at their house. perhaps they didn't know and if that should ever happen in my house without my knowledge, i would want to know so i could deal with the issue. if they knew and agreed with what they were doing, then you would know the right thing to do there. but nothing can be done until you speak up. your girls spoke up to you about it and now it's your turn to carry it on to make sure it stops right then and there. you're doing a great job as a parent, girl! keep it up!
ReplyDeletehi, first time visiting ur blog, and fell in love with it straight away.
ReplyDelete