Gettin Buggy with It

Spring has sprung around these parts (well I’m sure around all parts) and with the greener growing grass, the trees in bloom, and with everything just looking down right springy the bugs are back in full force. Now I’m not talking anything serious- nats are bugs too people!  And with the bugs being in full force so are G’s tantrums. We go through this EVERY. SINGLE. SPRING. And by the end of summer it usually levels off to some degree, but this year it seems worse than any other year. G is having full on panic melt downs about pieces of fuzz that could be a bug. It is some crazy fuckin nonsense and I can’t relate to her on this issue at all.

I mean it would be one thing if the kid had previously been stung, bit, or hurt by one of these pesky bugs, but zip, zilch, nada. She just has this HUGE fear over every stinkin kind of bug regardless of its size or if it is even a bug. The girl seriously cried a river over the thought of a dead ant. The thought that this ant was once alive. That’s it people it was a thought. Just a thought. OMG what am I going to do with her? Going outside has become painful and March is just coming to an end. We have MANY more months of outside to experience.

A few days ago she asked to go outside and jump on the trampoline. Of course I want her out there in the beautiful weather, but instead of having fun she screamed at the top of her lungs because there were bugs on the trampoline. “BBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” that were going to claim her life if I didn’t go rescue her. You know what I saw when I got out there? Little white petals that had blown on the trampoline from the blooming trees. Seriously Gracie? Seriously? After explaining several times to her what they were and how they wouldn’t be claiming her life today or any day for that matter I gave her the idea of jumping to remove these said “bugs” and that only brought on another freak out “THEIR MOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” um yes Gracie because you’re on A TRAMPOLINE!!!!

My God people I’m at a loss over here and when the husband suggests Googling said issue we know it’s a super big problem that needs fixed. Anyone have any suggestions? Any thoughts? Want to reflect on your perfect bug lovin child? Leave me some love- I could use it after just having to drag G in the house for being ridiculous only to have her have a screaming melt down in the time out corner over a speck of dirt that was disguised as a bug trying to kill her.

TGIF!!!

The Wonderbra

Since I have put on so many LB’s my boobs have greatly benefited. For as far back as I can remember I have always wanted fuller higher boobs. So I always thought getting a breast augmentation would be the perfect choice for me. I have felt I needed a lift since my boobs came in. When I was a few months from 21 I thought I would take the plunge and go see a plastic surgeon. That plan didn’t work out so well seeing as soon as the doctor went to exam me I fainted for the 1^st and only time right on his office floor. So much for a boob job.

I have noticed that my boobs have been bigger for an entire year now and I have put off doing anything about it. It became a problem when I literally busted out of my favorite bra a year ago, but not that big of a problem because all I did was use my 2^nd and 3^rd favorite bras to replace the one that broke and kept my fingers crossed that I wouldn’t bust out of those (at least in public) too.  It then became so uncomfortable to wear a bra with my larger chest that I started wearing tank tops with shelf bras and found that to be sufficient enough. Except when the weight gain never stopped and those shelf bras soon become too tight and uncomfortable that I just stopped wearing a bra around the house all together and let me tell you that is NOT a good look for me.

I decided that my bra issue had become serious when I went to get my hair done right before we left for Florida and I found myself wearing a white t-shirt and a black bra in public (also NOT a good look). I had to do something before I embarrassed myself any further.  As soon as my hair was done I rushed to my nearest Victoria’s Secret for a boob intervention.

I was nervous when I walked in the doors. I searched the shelves for the model that I was currently wearing. Then the dreaded question came- “can I help you find anything?” I wanted to say no, but I was desperate. I explained that I needed a new bra like the one I have. Honestly I was only trying to accomplish getting a nude bra like the one I broke. Apparently since I last bought a bra (2009- I don’t know if that’s normal or sad) they have “remodeled” my bra. I fucking hate change! Then the sales associate asks me what size I am. Umm I don’t know. I just wanted a new bra.  I ended up in the dressing room with a box full of different styles of bras. Oh and the biggest revolution I learned before shutting the dressing room door? I am no longer a 36c I am now a 38d- crazy.  Crazy that I allowed myself to go on this long with bra problems, crazy that I now am the proud owner of a set of d’s and I didn’t even need surgery. I just gained 50lbs- everyone should do it. Not.

I have to say that since I have been rockin my new remodeled bra (in nude by the way) it feels like heaven. Who knew? It has changed my posture and how my shirts look on me. I feel like I’m walking around with weapons. I don’t know why I didn’t do this sooner, but I guess I didn’t want to own my d’s yet. The scary thing is that I have lost 20lbs, so God only knows what bra size I was 20lbs ago.

I still feel like I could use a lift but I might have to be on crack before I can ever set foot in a plastic surgeons office again.

I will spare you the before and after bra pictures. Happy Thursday!

So What! Wednesday

This week I’m linking up with Shannon for So What! Wednesday.  It is one of my favorite posts to read weekly and I am excited to FINALLY be linking up (I wonder why I didn’t think of this sooner)! This week I am saying So What! To . . .

-When I went to pick up Olivia’s med from her doctor’s office I got on the elevator and quickly pushed the 2^nd floor button over and over until the door shut so I wouldn’t have to ride with another person.

-I rode the above elevator to the 2^nd floor instead of taking the stairs.

-It took me 7 months to unpack from our trip to Mexico only for me to repack the suit case for Florida and I have no intentions of unpacking anytime in the near future for me or the girls.

-I haven’t cleaned the girls Easter placemats on the table and now I think I am just going to throw them away.

-We are out of the basics like peanut butter and paper towels and I chose to go to story time and get lunch out over going to the store yesterday.

-I have stopped flat ironing Gracie hair in the morning. I would rather spend the 10 minutes reading blogs and enjoying a cup of tea. I figure most kids go to school with crazy hair why can’t mine be one of them.

-I’m drinking wine and Skinnygirl like it’s going out of style because I feel like if I get it all in now maybe when I’m pregers I won’t miss it.

-I am missing my Blackberry keyboard. Who the eff can type on a touch screen?!?!

-I wear yoga pants ALL.THE.TIME. Even when we go somewhere and I managed to actually get dressed I come home and immediately put my yoga pants back on. When summer comes I will be rockin Capri yoga pants.

-In the winter I wear a USA sweatshirt that I have owned since I was 10. It’s gross and I love it. Kelly hates it, like really hates it. I wonder if that is why recently it has gone missing.

Where Dreams Come True Part 2

Continued . . . (you can find part 1 here)

After we got some food in our bellies and the rain had subsided we headed to our first ride. We first tried a Lillo & Stitch movie ride. Olivia seriously fears the unknown so she wasn’t prepared for this ride because she wasn’t able to tell what was going to happen. She got through it. Gracie on the other hand lost control in the ride. At one point all the lights went out as part of the effect and Gracie got super scared and then came the tears. Poor thing. I wanted the girls to experience some of the classic rides the Magic Kingdom had to offered, so we sprinkled in some classic rides, new rides, and as many characters we could stand to wait in line for. Remember the good old days when the characters would walk around the park? Well not anymore. Now if you want to have your autograph book signed you have to pony up for a LONG line.

After several hours of walking, standing in line, food, characters, riding rides, and a little time in the gift shop we were all ready to head to Cinderella’s castle for dinner at the Royal Table with all the princesses. Did I mention that I made a point to have everyone wear tennis shoes and I was the one with hurting feet? True story. I decided to wear my chucks because I felt they looked better with my outfit than my gym shoes and my feet were KILLING ME!!! I never thought it would be that severe.  I had to break down and buy Minnie Mouse flip flops in the gift shop. Those babies won’t be making a debut ever again. Seriously though- maybe I have feet issues. Why can everyone else wear chucks and not me?!?!

The dinner at the Royal Table was fantastic! Magical! And for the price the food was pretty decent as well. The girls dressed up in their favorite princess costumes (Olivia Arial/Gracie Cinderella). It was worth every penny to see Olivia’s face light up when she found out her favorite princess Arial would be there (Kelly and I were keeping our fingers crossed for that one). Our journey in the castle started with a picture with Cinderella (a professional photo was included which was perfect since in the photos I took I accidently cut off Cinderella’s head). Then we took a seat waiting for our name to be called. They had music and announced it in a super fancy way.  We headed up to our table (we took the royal elevator) and ordered from the menu. It included an appetizer, entree, desert, and a never ending basket of bread that we happily devoured.  We got wands and Kelly got a sword and we enjoyed our dinner while the princesses flowed around the room. We got to get their autograph and take pictures. It was really great- my favorite part of the whole trip! We enjoyed more rides and character autographs after dinner and ended our night with a light parade and fireworks (we viewed the fireworks in the parking lot waiting for the bus to take us back to the hotel it was getting super late). Kelly and I had decided towards the end of that day that instead of going to Hollywood Studios the next day we would go back to the Magic Kingdom. We felt the girls were only going to enjoy everything there for such a short while longer and we didn’t know when we would get back again. It was the perfect choice for our family.

By the end of the trip we went on many rides and got quite a few autographs. Here are the ones that stick out:

Tea cups: Olivia wanted us to “promise” to not spin them. We didn’t promise but we did spin them which lead her to break out into tears and then she ended up realizing it was fun and started spinning it herself.

Race cars: Gracie and Olivia both drove while Kelly and I were passengers. At the end Olivia said “I was a really good driver! I would have done even better if the little line in the middle wasn’t there” ha.

It’s a small world: Gracie had to use the bathroom ½ way through the line on this one. There was no way I was backing out so I made her hold it and she forgot about it during the ride. I guess I was sadly fully prepared for an accident to happen. Lines suck.

Splash Mountain: Gracie cried when the drop happened and she wanted off.

Roller coaster: Kelly took Olivia on a roller coaster (can’t think of the name- I think it had something to do with Goofy) since we knew Gracie wouldn’t be able to handle it after the Splash Mountain experience I took her on another ride.  Olivia was dying to go on this ride! It was all she could talk about. After it happened all she could talk about is how the seat belt wasn’t tight enough, she could have DIED, and Daddy took up too much room. I think is safe to say roller coasters will most likely not be in her near future.

The last thing we saw before exciting out of the park to board and airplane home to Ohio was the Celebrate a Dream Come True parade. It was AWESOME and a great way to end our Disney journey. All the princesses were there and their entourages (Cinderella, prince, mice, step mother, step sisters) were there. It was magical. A dream come true, and honestly I had to hold back tears. I looked around and I surrounded by characters of my past and I got to watch Kelly and the girls enjoying them. It made me emotional to think it was the last day of our vacation and I didn’t know when if ever we would bring the girls back to Disney. I am so thankful we got this opportunity to take them to Disney and I will forever hold these memories deep in my heart.

Where Dreams Come True Part 1

*** My blog in rockin a new look thanks to Katie. Thank you so so much!!! My pages views are going up because I can't stop looking at it- LOVE it!***

Spring break 2012 had been a year in the making. We knew we wanted to take the girls to Disney and it happened to fall on the same week as a conference that Kelly had to attend for work. Then we found out the conference was going to be in Orlando Florida just minutes away from Disney World! So we felt all signs were pointing to this trip.

Two weeks before we were going to be leaving for vacation our house was hit with illnesses. Gracie broke out in massive hives and Olivia had a fever for 5 days. It seemed that the illnesses were going to clear before we left for vacation, but oh were we wrong. Remember how vain I was being worrying about measly little hives? Well I would have welcomed those hives over high fevers. Gracie started feeling ill Saturday and we were supposed to board an airplane the next day (Sunday). Gracie’s illness brought high fevers and one episode of vomiting. We couldn’t cancel the trip, so we pressed on hoping that Gracie would get fevers like Olivia and be okay after so many days.

The girls had never been on an airplane before so their excitement was super high. If we had just gone on the airplane ride and skipped Disney they would have been just as happy (well maybe not but their excitement was high). When we started to take off everyone in the plane was really quite. The girls were getting anxious and unsure if they would know when we were in the air. Finally take off happened and Gracie yelled out “Olivia were flying!!!” Everyone started laughing- that moment was priceless. Then she said to me “I think were almost to God.” How cute is that?

When we got to the hotel the girls were so impressed. Olivia declared it her castle. She was absolutely convinced it was once a castle that had been turned into a hotel. She was so excited when two people came to take our luggage she kept saying “we have service! “ I can’t believe we have service!” I guess we try and rent a house or something whenever we go on trips, so this was the first resort style hotel they have stayed in before.

After the excitement of arriving at the hotel and dinner it was bedtime and then came Gracie’s cough. Sunday night was HORRIBLE!!! No one got any sleep because Gracie had a 103 fever and a terrible cough that woke her and everyone else up. Apparently we are idiots because we thought with Advil, rest, and cold medication she would be fine. Monday was supposed to be a pool day, but we felt Gracie needed the rest so I planned for us to stay around the room. After awhile Olivia declared that she was sooooooo BOOOOOORRRRRRREEEEDDDDDD of resting in the hotel and Kelly was working. She played on the telephone and kept reading the Bible. Which she felt was left by someone at the hotel until we had to explain otherwise to her. She would also write notes from God to me. This vacation was turning out to be anything but magical. I wanted it to be how I pictured in my head, so after Gracie had a ½ day of rest and her fever was stable for the moment I dragged her out to explore the hotel. And the hotel offered many adventures. It was massive! We had ice cream, visited the alligators, and ended up at the pool for a little while. Gracie was a trooper. She hung in there and happily participated in all activities.

Tuesday morning we knew we had to do something to help Gracie. Her fever wasn’t going away, her cough was out of control, and she sounded like she was having breathing trouble while sleeping. So we ended up at the Kissimmee Urgent Care for four hours on Tuesday trying to get her some help. They gave us amoxicillin and sent us on our way. Did I mention that Gracie hates taking any kind of medication no matter what flavor? So several times a day she would have melt downs trying to get this stuff in her body. Fun stuff and I have to say going all the way to Florida with a sick child is something everyone must put on their to do lists. After one dose of the amoxicillin Gracie was a new person. I wonder why it never occurred to us to help her sooner. It was looking like the Magic Kingdom plans were going to pan out for Wednesday.

Wednesday came and Gracie had three doses of medication and she was almost back to her normal self. We were all so excited to finally be heading to the Magic Kingdom! We had a dinner date with the princesses at the Royal Table in Cinderella’s Castle that day and we were going to try and squeeze in as much as possible. Who knew that once you got into Disney you had to travel on a train, boat, and plane before actually getting to the front gates, but once we were there is was magical. Better than I had remembered it.  We dealt with a small amount of rain, but nothing that hurt anyone (well my hair was looking pretty crazy, but other than that). Well maybe it hurt Olivia- she said “this was supposed to be the best day of my life and now it’s raining.” Olivia never fails in the drama department. We rented a stroller because we knew the walking would be too much for Gracie to handle. There was so much stuff to do at the Magic Kingdom it was a little overwhelming. We tried to complete things in sections. And as much as we tried to take snacks and had endless conversations about saving money by bringing so much food- it was Kelly and I who dashed for the all the food as soon as we walked in the front gates.

To be continued. . . (Part 2 coming tomorrow) Happy Monday!

Follow me on FB

Many of you have been getting my blog links from Facebook. I have decided to create a FB page for From Nanny to Family Blog. I think it will allow friends that want to receive the posts to do so and my other “friends” who don’t want to be bothered will get to be left the eff alone. You’re welcome.

http://www.facebook.com/FromNannyToFamilyBlog

TGIF!!!

(Keep scrolling to read today’s post “I have pubic hair on my toes”)

My toes have pubic hair on them

First of all let me start by saying HAAAAPPPPPPYYYYYYYY FRRRRIIIIIIDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! I love me some Friday!

I went and got a pedicure last night with my Mama. It was good times. I love when we get moments alone like that because it seems so few and far between these days. After I picked my paint color and was led to my chair I noticed how bad my feet where looking and I was feeling excited to be there. Then I noticed the little hairs on my toes. WTF. I totally have pubic hair on my toes! I mean this isn’t a new revolution, but I usually keep up with this shit, so I felt sooooooo embarrassed to have my bare feet being illuminated by the florescent lights only to expose my hairy toes. For real. Hairy nasty toes. I am gonna shave, pluck, wax that nasty shit. I guess it got away from me over the winter? Does anyone else suffer with man toes? Anyone? I guess I am the only one rockin the pubic hair man toes look- that’s okay- I’ll own it.

I paid for the super pedicure. And my feet are looking amazeballs now. Thank god my Mom made that suggestion before I headed out for FL. Moms always know best. On the way home my Mom said how great it felt to get her feet done. Then she said “I didn’t start getting pedicures until I met you”. Say what? Met me? For real Mom? You gave birth to me- at least that’s what she tells me. I had to remind her of that. Ha. It was a good Mommy moment and one I will never forget. Thanks Mom.

Side note- I was clipping the girls nails yesterday and noticed how amazingly soft and smooth their feet are. I long for those days when my feet were like that. And you know what? They are 5 and 8 and can’t even appreciate how amazing their feet are and then one day they will be gone. That’s life I guess.

(I think that feet pictures are gross even when done by a foot model so I thought I would spare everyone foot photos. I know- your welcome)

We are headed for sunny Florida on Sunday afternoon!!! Lots to get done before then. So I will be MIA on this blog for a little while. I know I was semi MIA this week, but at least I have a good excuse to be missing this coming week. Stories and pictures when I return. So I leave you with my two favorite moments from this week. 1. Getting Menchies with O&G and 2. Having our first family dinner outside in this nice weather.

Things on my mind . . .

My blog has kind of fallen through the cracks this week. My mind has been filled with blog post ideas, but I for some reason have had no desire to write any of them. I think sickness in the house and my never ending to do list for Florida has made me want to focus on other things at this moment. It has saddened me that I am neglecting this space which in turn makes me feel like I am missing a little piece of myself. I have needed to write. So I thought  I would share things on my mind since I can’t seem to focus enough to write about what I was going to write about, anyway here’s what is currently on my mind.

- It’s Thursday, but I actually haven’t wished for Friday at all this week.

-Even though I feel bad that Olivia is not feeling well I have loved having her around this week. The extra time has meant so much to me and I am really longing for the time when the girls weren’t in school full days.  I miss knowing every little thing that happens to them during the day. I can’t wait for the summer! Well scratch that. Today Olivia started feeling better and expressed how bored she really is. OMG drives me insane how she walks around like there is nothing to do when she owns a million things that can entertain her.

-We have a new cleaning person! More like we got our old house cleaner back – which excites me. We are so glad to have you back Erica!!! Our house smells and looks amazing.

- I am so glad Olivia hasn’t grown very much this year because she has very few summer clothes so we are relying on some pieces from last summer to carry us through the FL trip. It also frustrates me at the same time that she hasn’t grown. I want so badly to buy her size 8 clothes and some 8’s fit. I think I am very much an out with the old in with new type of person and the fact that her 6/7 clothing still fits well makes it hard to think of an excuse to buy new things.  Well it makes it hard but not impossible.

- I feel so terrible that Gracie is dealing with this hive issue. I am really glad that she is not in any pain and only has occasional discomfort.  But I think I have some vanity issues. All I can think about is how hot it will be in FL and the heat makes the hives come out, so therefore all our Disney pictures will have Gracie covered in hives. So sad, but true.

- I am back to wearing head bands. What. Is. Wrong. With. Me.

- I am feeling disappointed in myself. I was so close to a weight loss goal and then I just gave up. It makes me feel embarrassed to write Fat Tuesday and let the world know that I failed. Especially after writing a post the previous week about how inspired I feel towards the goal etc.

- I am so over My Little Ponies!!! G wants a My Little Pony party (which she will get) but I feel uninspired to plan it.

- Lovin the girls new sun glasses!!!

- I want to be the next American Idol, even though my bathroom walls cringe when I sing. I guess that’s just a pipe dream.

- I feel like when I eat thin crust pizza it is not as fattening as thick crust pizza. I’m sure the added wine calories don’t help no matter how think or thin the crust is.

- I had to bite my tongue (hard) today when O&G started gathering all this crap from the back yard to make “food” while playing yesterday. Apparently it is possible for them to make a “mess” outside as well. God I’m so OCD.

Well I’m sure I could go on, but I will spare you from the never ending thoughts in my head. Happy Thursday!!!

Fat Tuesday (canceled)

I have been up to the ceiling in sick children and packing for our Florida trip. Olivia has had a fever (which was to be expected seeing as we got emails from her teacher last week talking about all the fallen students) and Gracie has a bizarre case of hives. She has been breaking out since last Wednesday. We have been to see two different doctors and both say it is a virus and will heal itself, so in the mean time Claritin, Benadryl, and a side of anti itch cream are our friends.  So needless to say Fat Tuesday has gone by the wayside. I have no news really to report anyway. I was so close to a little goal and then my brain said you don’t really care have some pizza, so I did.

Happy Tuesday everyone! Fingers crossed that all four of us are healthy when we are trying to board a plane on Sunday.

GRACIE'S HIVES

Randoms

Well well well, it’s FRIDAY!!! Helloooooooooooo Friday! Where have you been all week? Friday is one of my favorite days of the week. Second to Sunday where I get to sleep in and try to stay in my PJ’s all day. I welcome Friday’s. I wait for Friday’s, and now that it is here I almost don’t know what to do, other than do a little dance and I will.

Gracie had to go to urgent care yesterday after breaking out in a head to toe rash. Luckily it was only hives (I had never seen hives like this how was I supposed to know?). She broke out after taking a nap (she sweats when she sleeps, so the heat brought everything out). I am still scratching my head trying to figure out what caused it. I guess we will never know. Frustrating.

This weekend is going to be filled with Laundry. I still haven’t unpacked from our trip to Mexico 7 months ago, so I will have to do that this weekend so we can actually use our luggage for Florida.

March Madness is happening. Oh lord help me. I guess I can deal with anything that is NOT NASCAR. So my husband will be MIA all weekend watching every game he feels is important (which is all of them).

I wish everyone a happy Friday and a wonderful weekend. I hope yours in not filled with sucky laundry like mine.

The art of friendship

***Disclosure: before you read this post I just want to make it known that I do value the current friends in my life. I am not trying to tear apart anything that I currently have with said friends. These are past feelings I struggle with.

1.   friend/frend/

Noun:	A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations.
Verb:	Add (someone) to a list of contacts associated with a social networking Web site.

I believe that being a friend is truly a work of art. Maybe I am wrong (which I am a lot, so no worries if you think so), but it feels like you spend the early years (birth-college) building relationships with people you want to call your friend(s).  During this time in your life your friend(s) are the most important thing on the planet. You do everything with them. Then one day you meet your match, your partner. You settle down, get married, and have children (in my case children came with the settling down part). Then all of a sudden these people you worked so hard for so long to have in your life suddenly are no longer as important. Don’t get me wrong- you still love these people and care about them; it’s just that your priorities have changed. Is that so wrong?

In my case it was. I did all this while my best friend was still single, unattached, and childless. Apparently for her it was hard to be happy for someone else who was happy. So for people that mean a lot in your life you work hard to try and include them. They become known as “Auntie” and are made apart of your family. When does that stop being enough? How can you give everything you have and it is still not good enough? This my friends is why I call friendship an art form, because here I sit 18 months later still feeling burned by a relationship, a friendship that had to be terminated.

Don’t get me wrong. I do understand what I happened, I do understand my faults, and I do understand that no matter what she did I had the last word by kicking her out of my wedding 10 days before my walk down the aisle. Seeing as friendships can sometimes be like a game- I made the last move, so I am still unclear if I won or lost, but the last move seems to be all that is remembered. One can look at my last move (taking away the maid of honor title) as harsh, but I only see it as a necessary act. I AM NOT a mean person. It hurt me a lot to have to make that decision.

Today I happen to be in a reflection mood, and I am seeing a pattern in all my BFF friendships. They ALL seem to NOT be forever. Yes, that’s right, they have ALL ended! Maybe I am a bad friend? Maybe it is what my Mom always says “they were just jealous Lindsay”? I am not really sure what the case is or was, but I find myself missing out on good girlfriend relationships. Maybe having a good girlfriend relationship is an art form I do not know how to do?

I mean I am not 100% friendless. So somehow I have managed to figure out part of the art form. I have a few girls (and you know who you are) that I can call my friends. We have play dates, coffee, and or drinks. But I do not have the one friend who can do it all. A friend like one of the BFF's I used to have. Does that kind of friend even exist anymore? You know the friend in the pictures of other people. The friend represented in movies. The friend who has a husband your husband likes and they too are friends. The one who has kids the same age and the whole family can come over for wine and a play date. Maybe I am setting my expectations to high. I just miss my old friendships. Not necessarily the people themselves, but what the friendships represented to me. I just don’t have the same connection and sometimes it feels like I will never have it again.

I miss having friends I could call up everyday several times a day. The ones I could meet out for any meal and we knew everything about each other. Gone are those days. I am remembering my single day friends. Now my priorities are much different. My wants and needs are different. What I can offer is different. I guess what I am saying is I terribly miss having friends because of who I am. I miss my friends who truly like me for me. The friends who knew me before children.

I have never been one to make friends easily. I have always preferred quality over quantity. People used to say I was shy, but I do not really believe that is the case. I think I am just slow to jump in. I love people watching and I miss the moment by starring instead of interacting (true story). At this point I am at a loss on how to make friends. The girls are getting older and gone are the days where I cart them around to story times and different activities. They are now in school so the window of meeting Moms through play groups has seems to have closed. Many people have told me I need to get a hobby. What kind of hobby? I am at a loss on that one too. My hobby literally is watching trashy reality TV (for real). What am I going to do- post a want ad on Craig’s List?

Wanted: friend who has and or accepts children, LOVES to drink wine, and watches reality TV?

Umm so sad.

Anyway, I don’t know exactly what I am looking for. I just know I am looking. I just miss the days when I was so close to a friend they knew what I wiped my ass with. Because it is really sad when you can watch the movie Bridesmaids and shed tears of sadness not tears of laughter. Maybe I was having an emotionally off day, but I felt the movies underlying message was sad and something I could relate too. Yes I laughed, but something hit close to home. I just haven’t seemed to figure out the art of friendship yet. Maybe I need to look around me and I will be embraced by the few friends I have made. Maybe I need to remember change is REALLY hard for me and I am still mourning the loss of something that happened 18 months ago. Maybe writing this post will help me close this chapter. Whatever it is I am sure I will get past it- it just sometimes feels like I won't.

New Kicks

Change is really hard for me. I think it is why I struggle with even the little things. O&G got new shoes in the mail today. I love me some Zappos! As much as I was excited that they were so excited about new shoes- I felt sad. These are the first "big girl" shoes we have bought for Gracie. She's growing up and I want to hold on the baby in her forever.

I pushed Olivia to grow up. I was always so excited for her to leave the baby stuff behind. It was new and exciting. Now I feel like been there done that and I want to save the baby in Gracie. I know I know, I should be supporting her not holding her back, and I do. It's just hard and it pulls at my heart strings.

When I ordered shoes for Gracie I had to take my husband’s advice. I wanted to get her cute Mary Jane Velcro shoes, but he reminded me how I pushed Olivia at this age to get lace shoes so she could learn to tie. He's right. We need to push Gracie that same way.

I also let Olivia for the first time pick out whatever shoes she wanted. Yes, I gave up the control and she LOVES her shoes! She's growing in so many ways each and every day. I'm so proud to be apart of her life.

In January Kelly pushed me to change out the girls car seats. I fought him tooth and nail and in the end he changed them out anyway. The girls had been begging for the change for awhile. We moved G from a 5 point harness to a booster with a back and O to a backless booster. That was a hard change, but welcomed by the girls. Now Olivia is asking when she can move out of a booster all together. Not. Ready. For. That. (and we are following seat safety. It's not just when they ask)

I watched the girls’ race around the house in their new shoes yesterday. They believe the shoes make them run faster. Change is hard, but their new shoe happiness is priceless.

Happy hump day!

Fat Tuesday

After 9 weeks of writing Fat Tuesday posts- today I was ready to throw in the towel. I am starting to just feel over it. Then when I woke up I weighed myself. I am down -5 lbs. Wow! I wasn’t expecting that this week and let me tell you why.

I had done really well for 4.5 days. Then this little thing called a friend’s wedding was coming up so Friday and Saturday and Sunday I slacked. Then these beautiful little things called Girl Scout cookies arrived at my house Sunday night. So even though yesterday I ate a good breakfast and lunch, I snacked on these cookies ALL DAY LONG! So by dinner I ate a burger (at home made by Kelly of course) and I had a bun and cheese, but I could only eat a handful of bites. The bun and cheese were super filling and didn’t taste as good as how I eat it when I am eating better (which is plain with no bun and Dijon mustard).

I went to the gym (reluctantly) and my trainer said something to me that made sense. He always asks me on Tuesday’s how my week went. I am ALWAYS super grumpy in the morning at the gym, but then it hit me- even though I feel bad about the way I ate I am still down 5lbs, so I actually had good news to report. After sharing my week my trainer said “okay- lets work hard today. You are about to be at your lowest weight in over a year.” And you know what? He is right. I have been on this journey for truly over a year since my weight started creeping up. I feel seriously hard off the wagon MANY times over these past 12+ months, but I am proud of myself for not throwing in the towel (completely) even though it is so easy to do.

Thanks for riding out this journey with me! And my trainer is right. If I work really hard this week I will be at my lowest weight in over a year and that is something to smile about. I can’t dread on the fact that I most likely would have lost even more than 5lbs had I not had all these cheats and I can’t promise that I won’t have another box of Girl Scout cookies, but I can try.

Happy Tuesday!

A phone, carnival, wedding, and GS Cookies (weekend)

WOW! What a weekend. It was full and the time went too fast! On Sunday night I am sitting here wishing to reclaim some more down time before Monday comes, but oh well. I guess I will just be wishing for Friday ALL week!

My weekend started out with a NEW phone! Kelly worked a ½ day on Friday and surprised G and I for lunch. I love when he does things like that. The day was even better because I had no babies and it got to be just the 3 of us. My phone is amazing! I went for an iPhone and decided on an android. I liked the bigger screen. I really was expecting to wait until May, but I guess Kelly couldn’t take my complaining anymore. I wasn’t even complaining to accomplish anything. Now I know it works. Watch out for further requestsJ.

 The girls had a carnival at their school this weekend. Olivia was in a bad mood the entire time, so she was not in the mood to have her picture taken L

G GOT HER HAIR PAINTED PINK

FACE PAINTING

CAKE WALK

FINALLY SMILES FROM BOTH MY GIRLS

After the carnival we dropped O&G with Kelly’s parents for some much needed time with their “Grandma and Pa”, and Kelly and I headed off to Findlay, Ohio to see two great friends get married! The wedding brought back so many emotions for me. It was beautiful and brought back memories of our special day. It was perfect!

FOOD WAS KICK ASS

LOVE photo booths!

Fireworks + snowflakes = magic

We ended the weekend with Girl Scout cookies and the girls earned a reward from the “treasure chest” for all their hard work. We had a tasting with the GS Cookies. I then realized that 8 cookies might be too much for the girls, so they only had a few (by choice). I wonder why 8 cookies is never enough for me?

Happy Monday- may Friday be here as fast as this weekend went!